Rejection - The last thing on earth i want to feel

 

This is the worst period of my life. I had all this gigantic acceptance as a kid, and all of a sudden there was this monumental rejection.

I always define myself as an outgoing person. A happy go lucky one, spilling out my life's tragic stories to anyone is not a big deal to me. I always tend to talk much that in the same manner, I didn't realize that my talkativeness is starting to be harmful..most especially, to the ones so close to me...

I never noticed that they are all starting to be cold to me..at first, I didn't bother it, because like all people, they also have mood swings, but that mood swings didn't swing back to normal anymore. they do not approach me as often anymore, they keep distance to me when I'm with them, and they do not confide things to me anymore...that's the time I got aware to it..they're all starting to hate me...

One of them approached me, and he said, "We like you for being prank, but sometimes, you have to control yourself from talking too much". and that caught me. For so long, I have been like this to all of my friends, but it was not a big deal to them..until I finally realized that what my friends said was somehow, really true. It seems that It's very easy for them to tell me what to do, but they just don't understand at all. If only I could let them look up the definition of rejection in the dictionary, get really comfortable with it, and then maybe they can go into what I'm feeling right now.

Now i believe in a saying that all people are your friends...unless they prove it..

It's ok..as I always say. Though I'm not familiar to this feeling, I know that I can always get over it, as what I always do before, because if I don't, I will not grow as a person..for human beings, like plants, grow in the soil of acceptance..not in the atmosphere of rejection.

I really wish I was less of a thinking man and more of a fool not afraid of rejection. But I'm not. and that makes me hate myself at times. But rejection won't make me a worthless person, because I take it as someone blowing a bugle in my ear to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat. I cannot please all people, and I do not plan to do so, because I believe that one way or another, there would always be at least one or two (million) out there, who will interest me and my inborn personality, or shall we say, my "attitude" and would still like me for being me.

I don't have to care for those persons who damnly hate me coz there are a lot of people who loves me and they're worth more minding than the first.

I think that have to believe in my destiny; that I will succeed, I will meet a lot of rejection and it is not always a straight path, there will be detours - so I just have to enjoy the view. And I hope that you do so.